Sunday, January 02, 2011

New Year, Old Times



First things first a very Happy New Year to you!    Second of all you won’t find any NY’s resolutions here I’m afraid and that’s not because I don’t believe in them, on the contrary, I strongly believe in making them, all year round in fact.     But I’m not a big fan of resolutions in the New Year and that’s because there are enough things that are new going on and so I’m much keener on resolutions that aren’t new at all, resolutions that are quite old and that take us back in time rather than spring us into an unknown future.     I suspect the main reason the majority of New Year’s resolutions aren’t kept up beyond February is because they are too new.     We are after all creatures of habit and therefore making new ones is not as easy as maintaining the ones we already have.     I wonder what it would be like to make resolutions about things we’re already doing or have done before.     A resolution to continue what already exists rather than starting something new from scratch.     I'm guessing resolutions that involve re-visiting things and going back to what’s familiar aren't half as daunting as something completely fresh.     It may even help to make them a little more sabotage proof.     But when the New Year is about a new year is it a cop out to reflect on what’s past?       

I’m beginning to wonder whether we quite readily revert to the past or at least think about it more when we are faced with new things both in the present and what’s to come in the near future.     It’s as though we need to look back or take a quick glance behind us just before we can go forward.     It reminds me of a child playing in the park with a new friend he’s just made and who every now and then turns to see if his mother is still there and still watching him.    And only when he is sure that she is can he really enjoy his playing.     We all need reassurance, the knowledge that we can go forward in our lives but still come home whenever we need to and by home I mean our past history, our memories and experiences, all the things that contribute towards us becoming the people we are.     For this reason it is not such a big surprise to reminisce on the cusp of a life changing event as if we know we may lose a small part of ourselves in the process of a new beginning.     A nod from the past is all it takes sometimes for us to feel self assured and move forward confidently.     



At the start of a new year we’re often so encouraged to look ahead, seize the future and generally go in a forward moving direction.      Thinking about the past and especially the painful parts is not really that acceptable and normally discouraged.    I think it is assumed that thinking (so often confused with dwelling) about these things poses a threat to both the thinker and the calm landscape of the life they currently lead.      After all thinking too much has been the culprit of many a boat rocked so they say...  But thinking about the past does not equate to reliving it.     Events that have past have past, they cannot be undone nor can they be repeated in the exact same way.      However, those people who suffer from post traumatic stress brought on by a trauma either directly experienced or witnessed present an unusual exception.     In these cases the person feels stuck in the original event and is unable to transfer their experience into the realm of memory but instead relives it over and over again as though it is happening for the first time.      I think this is a very common worry for all of us when thinking about the past, the fear that remembering certain things will somehow transport us back in time and drop us right in it again.      But remembering is not the same as repeating and neither is it dangerous to think about what’s gone by, it may bring up old feelings but it won’t resurrect what's already occurred.    If even the thought of thinking about an old memory feels painful it is usually a sign that it hasn't been thought about enough.     



Ironically as time goes on and we see through many more New Years we may find that the past is nearly all we think about as that is what we’ve accumulated more of.      Our memories are our very own ever expanding library packed with reels and reels of information all interconnected with each other, a library we can dip in and out of in a fraction of a second whenever we want where we’ll find stories on a wide range of topics including travel, history, geography, love and lots and lots of psychology.      As the final part of Wordsworth’s famous poem goes we are reminded just how wonderful memory truly is....

"For often, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye which is the bliss of solitude,
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils."   


Daffodils' by William Wordsworth (1804)